


I Think I Am Finally Clean

by YamiAki96



Series: TS verse [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Dates, First Meetings, Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamiAki96/pseuds/YamiAki96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wipes Dean out of his life, and begins opening his heart to others. He's not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I Am Finally Clean

**Author's Note:**

> Song used: Clean

The first thing that Castiel did was clean out his music library. The music that Dean loved but Cas didn’t care for was deleted from his computer and iPod. He put on a music streaming website as he continued to clean Dean out of his life. He cleared all if Dean’s movies and shows off of his DVR next, knowing that that would be easy.

He knew that getting rid of his pictures would be hard, but he wasn’t prepared for how difficult it really was.

The memories tore at him as he flipped trough albums and went through his phone. It didn’t happen often, but sometimes Dean would take pictures with him or allow Castiel to take them, as long as they were never posted.

He traced his fingertips over the only picture he had of Dean kissing him, one the Dean took himself on Castiel’s birthday a year ago. He had cleared his whole day to spend with Cas and didn’t text Lisa once. It had been one of the best days of Cas’s life. He closed his eyes and deleted it, then the rest.

He hummed along to song he sort of knew as he went through his closet and drawers, putting Dean’s clothes in one of the moving boxes he had left over to send back to him. He hesitated when he pulled the grey AC/DC shirt from his drawer.

It was the first shirt that Dean had let him keep. Cas had slept in it until Dean’s scent faded from the fabric. Dean had told him not to wear it in public so that no one knew what was going on between them. He mostly wore it to bed or on the weekends.

He sat on his bed and brought it to face. Dean had worn it one weekend while Lisa was out of town so the smell of his cologne an sweat lingered on it.

He threw the shirt into the box before he lost his nerve. He closed his eyes against the tears starting to burn behind his eyelids.

He packed the few DVDs that Dean had left behind and taped the box shut. He’d leave it with Mary the next time he saw her.

And that was it. Everything that reminded him of Dean was gone and packed away. So why didn’t he feel better?

He curled up on his couch and dialed Gabriel’s number. His brother answered on the first ring.

"What’s up, Cassie?"

"I ended things with Dean." Cas’s voice broke. It was the first time he’d said it out loud and it hurt.

"Are you okay?" Gabe asked, switching from lighthearted to deadly serious.

“I don’t know.”

"Cas, you know you’re better off, right? I mean, he treated you like shit."

“I know. That’s kind of why I ended it. I just…I told him off, I got rid of his things, but I still feel like I can’t breathe.”

"That’s because you were in love, Cas. It’ll get better. You need me?"

"No, I’m okay. I just wanted someone to talk to. You’re my only friend now."

"Love you, too, bro." Cas smiled a little. Gabriel could always make him smile.

"How did you get over Kali?"

"I got under Sam."

"Gabe!"

"What? That bitch fucked me up good. I went out, I partied, I screwed the other Winchester. Who I am now engaged to, by the way, so don’t knock it."

"I don’t think random sex is going to help me. I’m not that type."

"You should at least get out of your apartment. Go on some dates, hit a few bars. Even if you don’t sleep with anyone, you need to feel good about yourself. You deserve to, after how he treated you."

"I’ll think about it. I love you, Gabe."

"Love you, too, little brother. Call me anytime."

They hung up and Cas sighed, leaning further into his couch. Maybe Gabe was right, he should get out. But not yet. Not until it no longer felt like he was using the other person.

~*~

Cas dropped onto the barstool, utterly exhausted.

It had been almost nine months since his break up with Dean. He had started dating again - for the first time, really, since Dean never took him out - three months ago. All of the guys had been boring or losers or just awful. He was almost ready to give up when Inias asked him out.

They had worked together for years and Castiel had always thought that Inias was nice, so he said yes. They had lunch and coffee a few times to get to know each other before they went on a real date.

Inias took him to a nice restaurant and were having a good time. Then Castiel found him kissing their waitress in the men’s room after he had been gone for ten minutes.

He had left and went to the closest bar.

'That's it', he thought, 'I'm done.' He ordered a beer, even though he hated the taste, because he desperate to take the edge off. He was half way finished when someone sat next to him.

"Can I buy you another?" Castiel looked at the guy, then shook his head.

"No, I hate beer."

"Something else, then?"

"Wine?" The man nodded, then ordered.

"I’m Crowley."

"Castiel."

"Well, Castiel. What’s a handsome man like you doing alone?"

"Do you know how cliche you sound?" Cas asked, then looked down. "Sorry, I’m new at this." The man smiled.

"I can tell. I thought cliches might make you comfortable."

"Thanks." The drinks came and Castiel took a sip of his wine.

"You didn’t answer my question though. Why are you alone on a Friday night?"

"My date made out with our waitress."

"Sounds like a dick." Cas laughed sadly.

"Story of my life lately. The only men I seem to attract are dicks."

"I see." Castiel realized what he had done and became flustered.

"No, not you. I mean, I don’t know you. I mean-" Crowley touched his knee.

"It’s alright, Castiel. I knew what you meant."

"I really am new to this. I didn’t even start dating until a few months ago. You probably think I’m a freak."

"No. I think it’s odd, yes, as attractive as you are, but I’m sure that there’s a story behind it."

"There is," Castiel said quietly, tracing the rim of his glass. Memories of Dean started trying to break through, but he held them back.

"I should go," He said, not looking up. Crowley nodded.

"Would you like to have lunch with me on Monday?" Castiel looked up. "You deserve a date where the guy’s not a dick."

"I’d like that." They exchanged numbers and Castiel stood. "I’ll see you Monday."

"Can’t wait."

Castiel walked the short way back to his apartment, unable to keep the smile off of his face.


End file.
